Focus in Coaching

What To Do When Challenges Choose Us

Larry — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:46:00 +0000

I found in life there are times when we choose our challenges and there’s other times when challenges choose us.

These words are from Travis Roy, featured in this video below. We need inspiration like this during those times when life doesn’t seem fair. Thank you Travis for your words of wisdom and your positive attitude!

Is There a Formula for Success?

Larry — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:12:37 +0000

Ever wonder why succes seems to come easy for some people? Honestly, it can be down right annoying to the rest of us! Until you study the lives of successul people do you begin to see a pattern emerge. They all seem to do a handful of things that almost guarantees their success.

So what are they?

I came across this “Success Formula” after listening to Tony Robbins. Here are 4 things you must do in order to attain your goals and live the life you want:

Clarify what you want. Be as specific as possible with your description. For instance, if you want to lose weight write down exactly how much weight you are going to lose. Be exact and use the phrase “I am going to”…it’s a positive sentence and tells your mind that YOU CAN accomplish this!
Act on it! Unfortunately, many of us stop dead in our tracks when it comes to this one. I know I’ve been guilty of it! Don’t let fear get in your way and stop you from moving forward. Identify your fear, give it a name. And then overpower it by making a list of things that will happen if you don’t take action. Remember, if you want to change your behavior you have to change your mindset. Focus on the pain that will result if you don’t take action and the pleasure that will come when you do. Going back to our example, if your goal is to lose 30 pounds the potential outcomes of not taking action is less energy, feeling guilty for not taking better care of yourself and feeling more self-conscious about your weight. Spend some time thinking through both the positive and negative outcomes to give your mind the time to see that not acting is much more painful than taking action. Once you’ve committed to your goal, watch out! You might surprise yourself!
Figure out what’s working and what’s not working. Be brutally honest with yourself here. Do some research. Ask those around you for their input and perspective. Go back to the goal(s) you wrote down and write beside them all the things you’ve done to try to accomplish them. Ask yourself, “What is working and what do I need to stop doing?”
Make adjustments. If something is not working, kill it! Get rid of it and move on. Be unwavering here. Don’t continue to do something that is working against accomplishing your goal. So, if you’ve determined that eating ice cream right before you go to bed is bad for your body (and it is!) then stop doing it. Substitute something else. Ask for the support of others to help encourage and keep you accountable. And be sure to reward yourself when you do succeed. Positive reinforcement is a great motivator!

Just 4 steps. That’s all it takes to set and reach your goals. I wish you much success as you move forward to reaching your true potential. I trully believe that you can do it! And when you do, please email me with the details!

Had Enough?

Larry — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:01:43 +0000

I read a statistic that totally blew me away:

The poorest country in the western hemisphere (Haiti) has the lowest suicide rate in the world!

I live in a society that tells me that the pursuit of having enough is never enough. If that’s the case then why does our country have a much higher suicide rate than Haiti? It didn’t make sense until I learned more about the people of Haiti.

A friend, who travels to Haiti frequently, recommended that I read On That Day, Everybody Ate (which is a great read, by the way!). It said that Haitian’s do not struggle with the thought of suicide because they always have hope. They cling to the hope of a better tomorrow and a better future. They eat each meal not knowing if it was their last and yet they still have hope that drives them on each day. It’s this hope that too many of us in America sadly seem to be lacking in our pursuit of having enough.

So that leaves me trying to answer this question:

When is enough, enough?

Are You Playing it Safe?

Larry — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:56:53 +0000

Playing it safe. There are times in our life when playing it safe is the wisest thing to do. Like, for instance, avoiding the all-you-can-eat chili bar the night before your colonoscopy. Good call on that one!

And then there are other times when playing it safe is the worst thing to do. I know because I’ve been there, done that and bought the t-shirt! I remember one such time in college when a few people suggest that I run for student body president. Instead of pursuing it, I quickly declined because I knew it would involve public speaking and this was WAY out of my comfort zone. And there was no way that I was voluntarily going to subject myself to that. I thought, “what kind of idiot would do that to himself? I’ll take my life jacket and arm floaties and stay in the shallow end of the pool, thank you very much!”

It wasn’t long after this that the safety of my comfort zone wasn’t looking as great as I once thought. I started thinking about what ‘could have been’ and regretted giving up so easily. I didn’t have much of a chance of winning the election, but I wish that I hadn’t made the decision out of fear. I wish that I had tried, that I had faced my fearand said, “I don’t need this life jacket, and you can keep your arm floaties because I’m going to the deep end of the pool!”

I’m convinced that when we retreat to the shallow end of the pool we miss out on the opportunity to grow. We also make it easier to run away the next time we’re faced with a growth opportunity.

Have you ever done something that you were afraid of and after felt so invigorated, so alive? Are you searching for more of this in your life? Or maybe you’re tired of playing it safe and you’re curious about what you could accomplish if fear didn’t stand in your way. Either way, I’d like to share more of my experiences to encourage you to venture out into the deep end of the pool and realize the potential that’s within you!

(I’ll share more very soon!)

Playing it Safe is Risky!

Larry — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:50:18 +0000

One of my greatest fears in life is that I didn’t live enough — I played it too safe! I’ve done enough of this kind of living to know that it’s not for me. Now, I’m not talking about risking my life or doing something immoral. I’m talking about taking risks, stepping out of my comfort zone and truly enjoying life.

If life is a pool and the deep end represents adventure and stepping out of our comfort zone, my tendency is to be the guy with the life jacket, arm floaties and life preserver sitting on the stairs in the shallow end of the pool! I’ve played it safe too many times and walked away feeling guilty. Guilty that I didn’t take a chance. Guilty that I didn’t step out of my comfort zone. It also left me wondering what I might have missed out on.

I’m convinced that this kind of living is not what God has in mind for us. When He talked about us having an “abundant life”, I’m thinking that often involves lots of adventure and choices that give us shaky knees! But, it’s in those moments when we step out of our comfort zone and into the unknown that we feel fully alive and (I believe) right where God wants us to be!

We grow the most when we’re stretched out of our comfort zone.

(I’ll post more on this topic very soon. I have plenty of examples to share!)

Making Things Right

Larry — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 07:00:19 +0000

Here’s a thought that is bouncing around my head:

God didn’t give you the ability to make every right decision. However, He did give you the ability to make decisions right.

Simple, yet profound. I like it! I like it because it’s true and takes the pressure off of trying to always make the right decision. Equally important is our need to make things right when we do make wrong decisions.

Sometimes we stress over what decision to make because we fear we’ll make the wrong one. I say we make the best decision we can and make sure we go back and make it right WHEN we do mess up.

The next time you feel yourself stressing over a decision, decide that you’ll make the best choice and then make it right later if you need to.

Are You Dreaming?

Larry — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:18:13 +0000

Has it been a while since you’ve had a dream? I’m not talking about the dreams you have when you’re sleeping. I’m referring to the ones you have about what you’d do “if you had plenty of money” or “if you had no fear.”

Take a minute and ask yourself: “What 1 thing would I love to do today if I could?” (Go ahead, write it down.)

Now let me ask you, what’s stopping you from doing this? We call them roadblocks. Some, or all of them, might just be fears that will never materialize. List the things that prevent you from pursuing your dreams. Seeing them on paper might be all you need to push through them!

If you were sitting together with one of your friends and he was asking you how he could overcome these roadblocks, what would you tell him? How would you help him accomplish his dreams? Next to the roadblocks that you listed, write out how “your friend” could push through these roadblocks.

Once you’ve done this the only thing you need to do now is to write down when you’re going to do it. Give it a date and time and then tell someone about it. Ask them to hold you accountable to your goal. That way, you’ll have someone to celebrate with when you accomplish your dream!

The hardest part of accomplishing your dream is taking action. Get the ball rolling today by taking that first step, even if it’s a small step. I’d love to celebrate with you so please let me know how this goes for you!

Anyone Can Do This!

Larry — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 03:37:15 +0000

It’s a well known fact that fitness centers sell way more memberships than they can accommodate. They bet on and hope that you, the consumer, will sign up and never show up! They do this because they know us. They know that when January roles around we’ll make a New Year’s resolution and then fail to make a realistic plan of action. They bet that we’ll DREAM BIG and then PLAN HORRIBLY!

Have you ever done this? I have. In fact, I’ve done this twice in my life. I had a yearly membership at two separate gyms and never went more than half a dozen times, total. All that money wasted! But why?? (Before I go there let me tell you that I’ve been a member of a gym for a year now and have been going at least 3 times a week. Ok, I feel better knowing that you know that!)

So, why do we do this to ourselves? We know why we set our goals (we want something better for our lives), but why do we fail to accomplish our goals? Speaking from my gym experiences I got excited about the possibilities of what tomorrow could be. What about you? Do you tell yourself that you’ll lose the weight, eat better, spend more time with your family, leave work earlier, go to church tomorrow and then fail to make it happen?

I won’t presume to know why it didn’t work for you, but I can tell you from my own experience that when it didn’t work for me it was because I failed to make a realistic plan of action. Before you set your goals ask yourself a few questions first:

What has worked for me in the past?
What can I do right now that will help me build momentum and build my self-confidence?
Are my goals realistic?
When will I start?
Who can I share my goal with and ask to hold me accountable?

Now get out there and start accomplishing those dreams of yours. I know you can do it! Make your plan and get started today.

Life Goals

Larry — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:29:21 +0000

If you are pleased with what you are, you have stopped already. If you say, ‘It is enough,’ you are lost. Keep on walking, moving forward, trying for the goal. St. Augustine

In my e-newsletter I talked about the importance of setting life goals. (If you are interested in reading this article check out my e-newsletter archive). While my list is not complete, it’a a great starting point to get me moving and focused on action. I hope to add to it as I grow older and accomplish my goals. So, here is what I have so far:

My Life Goals
10.29.08

Family Goals
1. Celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary
2. Have children
3. Own a home on the water
4. Work together with Liz
5. Go to Italy with Liz
6. Travel the U.S. in a camper
7. Live closer to our parents

Financial Goals
8. Be debt-free
9. Live on 10% and give 90% away
10. Create a charitable family foundation
11. Buy each of our kids first car
12. Pay for half of each kids college tuition

Personal Goals
13. Write a book
14. Learn another language
15. Go into the Grand Canyon with my family
16. Jump out of an airplane (yikes!)
17. Learn to play the drums
18. Teach a college class
19. Go on a missions trip with my family

Fitness Goals
20. Complete a triathlon
21. Complete a triathlon at 60
22. Perform 20 pull-ups w/o stopping
23. Run a half marathon

Take a few minutes out of your day to make a list of your own life goals. You’ll be glad you did!

Wrapped Up in HIM

Larry — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:55:37 +0000

I remember as a kid walking to the other side of my bedroom to turn off the light and then running the whole way back to my bed. I knew that if I could just get to the “safety” of my blanket everything would be ok and I would be safe from any monsters that might be lurking under my bed!

I’m sure some of you can relate to this story. While we chuckle at the thought of a piece of cloth protecting us from the monsters that are real only in our imaginations, we can take comfort in the fact that Jesus is our refuge! Thinking back to my story, I remember taking extra precautions to make sure that every inch of my body was covered (with the exception of my head so I could watch out for the monsters!) with my blanket. After all, what was exposed to the outside elements was susceptible to great danger. So I thought!

I’ve been challenged this week to make sure that I put every area of my life under Him and am also trusting in Him to guide and protect me. I’m reminded that Jesus is always there for us no matter what goes on around us. He loves us and wants to wrap us up in the warm safety of His love whenever we need it! Praise the Lord for Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.”